New Year, New Habits, Same ADHD: How Families Can Build Lasting Change—Together

As a new year begins, many families pause to reflect. What worked last year? What felt positive? What was exhausting or chaotic? When you think about 2026, what would you like to see be easier moving forward?

For families living with ADHD, these reflections can stir up mixed emotions. On one hand, there’s hope for change. On the other, there’s a familiar worry: We’ve tried this before—and it didn’t last. New Year’s resolutions often promise a fresh start, but for many parents and kids with ADHD, they quickly become another reminder of good intentions that didn’t quite stick.

The issue isn’t motivation or character. It’s mismatch. Traditional goal-setting tends to overlook how ADHD brains work—and how much support sustainable habits actually require. The good news is that meaningful change is possible when families shift the focus away from perfection and toward collaboration, routines, and compassion.

Why New Habits Feel Harder With ADHD

ADHD affects the brain systems responsible for planning, time awareness, emotional regulation, and follow-through. Research consistently shows that children and adults with ADHD struggle more with habit formation than their neurotypical peers—not because they don’t care, but because the brain circuits that support consistency develop differently.

• Studies suggest that children with ADHD have delays of up to 30% in executive functioning skills, compared to same-age peers.

• Approximately 75% of children with ADHD continue to experience symptoms into adulthood, making habit challenges a lifelong consideration (CHADD, 2023).

• Research on habit formation shows that it can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days to establish a new habit, with wide variability based on complexity and support—usually a minimum of three months.

• Parents of children with ADHD report significantly higher levels of daily stress, particularly around routines like mornings, homework, and bedtime.

When families don’t account for these realities, resolutions can quietly turn into shame. This year, instead of asking, “Why can’t we stick with this?” try asking, “How can we build habits that work with our brains, not against them?”

Start Small: One Habit Is Enough

One of the most effective ways to support ADHD brains is to narrow the focus. Rather than setting multiple goals for 2026 at once, choose one habit that would genuinely improve daily life.

Remember: this isn’t about lowering your expectations or standards. It’s about increasing the odds of success for everyone in your family.

Begin by selecting a realistic time frame. A year can feel abstract and overwhelming. Many families do better with a six- to twelve-week window, followed by weekly check-ins to reassess. Shorter cycles allow for experimentation and adjustment, which are essential parts of learning.

Next, anchor the goal in a growth mindset. Having a growth mindset doesn’t mean relentless positivity. It means understanding that mistakes are part of the process—not proof of failure. Habits form through repetition, feedback, and flexibility, especially when ADHD is involved.

This method is often recommended for executive functioning challenges because externalizing tasks helps free up the space in your brain we call “cognitive load.” It enables you to initiate and execute even the most dreaded of tasks more successfully. The trick is to avoid piling on too many things in one day. Instead, aim to make realistic progress daily on your holiday preparations.

Choose a Habit That Matters to Everyone

Habits are more likely to stick when they’re meaningful. Look around your family life and ask:

Where do we feel the most friction?

Common areas include:

• Morning routines

• Homework and schoolwork

• Screen time transitions

• Bedtime rituals

• Household responsibilities

Family goals work best when they are collaborative, not imposed. Invite each family member to name one thing they’d like to see go more smoothly this year. Write everything down. Then, look for overlap.

You might notice that:

• You want calmer mornings.

• Your child wants fewer reminders.

• Your teen wants more independence.

These aren’t individual, competing goals—they’re actually connected. The shared habit might focus on creating a predictable morning routine with visual cues and fewer verbal prompts.

Get Specific—Really Specific

Vague goals like “be more organized” or “argue less” don’t give the brain enough direction. ADHD brains benefit from clarity and concreteness.

With practice, try shifting from:

• “Less yelling”
  → Using a visual timer and two warnings before ending screen time

• “Better homework habits”
  → Homework starts at 4:30 at the kitchen table with a checklist and short breaks

Specific goals make it easier to identify what to do, when to do it, and how to know whether it’s working.

Build a Game Plan That Supports the Brain

Once you’ve chosen your habit, break it down into the moments where things usually fall apart. Ask curious, non-judgmental questions together:

• What makes this moment hard?

• What usually happens right before it goes off track?

• What support might help before emotions escalate?

For example, if transitions away from video games often lead to meltdowns, the challenge may not be “listening better.” It may be shifting attention away from something deeply engaging to something that feels dull in comparison.

Helpful supports might include visual countdowns, flowcharts, consistent transition routines, or a collaborative activity planned immediately afterward.

This is where parents model problem-solving rather than punishment. You’re teaching your child that challenges are signals for support, not criticism.

Making Habits Stick: Support Over Willpower

Consistency matters—but consistency doesn’t mean rigidity.

Accountability works best when it’s built into the system. Schedule brief, predictable family check-ins to review how things are going. Keep them short and focused. Ask:

• What’s helping?

• What’s hard?

• What should we tweak?

Steadiness beats perfection. ADHD brains are especially vulnerable to all-or-nothing thinking. Missing a day doesn’t mean starting over—it means picking up where you left off.

Encouragement is essential. Positive feedback strengthens motivation and confidence, especially for kids who are used to hearing what’s going wrong. Notice effort, not just outcomes. Use reminders, visuals, and technology to reduce reliance on memory alone.

A Kinder, More Effective Way Forward

New habits in 2026 don’t require a new version of your child—or you. They benefit from understanding, patience, and systems that make follow-through possible. When families approach change together, habits become less about fixing what’s “wrong” and more about creating environments where everyone can function more comfortably.

Progress may be uneven—and that’s normal. What matters most is returning to curiosity, compassion, and collaboration, again and again.

Warmly,

Dr. Sharon Saline