22 News Mass Appeal: Alternative ways to honor 2020 graduates during COVID-19

(Mass Appeal) – There’s a lot of disappointment for the graduating seniors this year: prom dresses will be left hanging in the closet; mortar boards will not get tossed in the air. Clinical psychologist Dr. Sharon Saline joins us today to talk about how you can empathize with your graduate, as well as honor them for their accomplishments. Dr. Saline suggests to first offer support and validate their feelings of disappointment. Also, if you get some push back from your teen, it’s most likely because they are upset. Don’t tolerate abusive behavior, said Dr. Saline, but increased reactivity is normal. Also, find ways they can celebrate their accomplishments. Have them share important pieces of work, dress up, bake them a cake. Also encourage them to be with friends safely through zoom events or even allow them to gather – with social distancing – in your driveway for a visit. Click logo below to watch!

Feeling shut down? How to help your family cope with numbness and isolation during COVID

Do you notice that your son or daughter is feeling more frustrated, down and hopeless as the shelter-in-place directive and online schooling continues? I’m hearing from so many kids and parents that things seem to be getting worse as this confinement continues. With thousands of schools switching their grading systems to Pass/Fail, many kids are doing the minimal amount of homework to get by if not avoiding it altogether. Some may not be showering daily, brushing their teeth or putting on clean clothes. Others have reverted to younger and less mature coping skills, erupting and arguing more while cooperating less than they typically do. What can you do to combat their numbness, hopelessness or regressive behaviors?

The first step is acknowledging their very real losses and emotional pain. Nothing is familiar any more. They’ve had to let go of daily casual peer contact at school, planned social get-togethers, familiarity of learning environments and teacher interactions--the list goes on and on. Without having things to look forward to, they may get enraged or turn inward and shut down or both. This is especially true for kids who’ve had special events like graduation, sports seasons, dance recitals, drama performances and more snatched away from them without warning. You may well be experiencing pushback, non-cooperation and aggression in your family that you haven’t that you thought you’d moved beyond or is completely new. Let’s review common struggles for families and look at some useful tools for dealing with them more effectively:

1. When kids are stressed, anxious and vulnerable, they will act out their concerns with you. A ten year-old boy shared his fear and confusion about living with COVID: "We don't know when and if this is ever going to stop and if we'll have our lives the way we want it. . .No matter how much you try not to think about it, you're still going to focus on it. Like school and stuff but even going on a walk to refresh your brain, you have to wear a mask."  He’s been arguing vociferously with his parents or running to his room, slamming the door and angrily crying more days than not. He doesn’t know how to wrap his brain around what’s going on. Sound familiar?

When kids act out towards their parents, they are showing us with their words and behavior that their emotions have overwhelmed their internal resources to cope. While it’s not pleasant, it is actually a positive thing in one important way. It shows you that they feel both connected and safe enough with you to share feelings that they can neither understand nor manage on their own. Whatever coping mechanisms you’ve helped them develop probably have weakened in the past month or two. Many kids with ADHD (and those without it too) are taking a few big steps backwards based on intense frustration, anxiety and disappointment. This kind of regression is normal during stressful situations. Nonetheless, you shouldn’t tolerate disrespectful, hurtful or inappropriate actions because of their struggles. Tip: Expect their pushback, notice when it occurs and plan for how to deal with it in advance. Avoid crises by planning and predicting issues that seem to trigger distress. Talk to your son or daughter, share your observations about their struggle and put a plan in place to calm things down when they occur. Create a timed break, a short regrouping to discuss how to move forward and then take that action: Use 'Stop, Think, Act.'  2. Support their need for social connection by figuring out ways to contact and engage peers remotely and/or safely in person. Kids have to be able to experience themselves in relation to their friends to nurture their identity and make sense of the world. All of those casual “Hellos” and “How are you doing?” that occur while passing in school hallways, at lunch tables and on the playground contribute to how they see themselves and who they want to become. We have to assist them to reach out and stay in touch which often means you’ll be responsible for helping or supporting them to facilitate these activities. Tip: Try some of these ideas: Zoom sessions for Lego, drawing or games (Monopoly, Clue, Taboo, etc); chalk drawing outside (mark off sections that are 6 feet apart, put on their masks and watch them); tossing a frisbee or baseball with gloves and masks; share a baking project on FaceTime; bike riding with a friend who also has a mask on; group Zoom dinners, playing music or watching a show via screen share; creating videos with individual characters that are assembled by one or two kids. Anything that’s outside the box but still follows safety guidelines.  3. Families are tired of being together and everybody’s nerves are fraying. Neither you nor your child or teen can sometimes get adequate or enough space from each other. A thirteen year-old girl told me “Frankly, I’m sick and tired of them [her parents]. It’s been repetitive for weeks. I’d go anywhere as long as it’s not with them.”  Your kids love you and you them but 24/7 is A LOT OF FAMILY TIME. Everyone needs SOME time apart that isn’t instigated by arguments, tears or blame. Tip: Plan for quiet, alone time each day. Set a specific, timed period in your day for down time. This may or may not include screen time--that’s up to you. It’s best to talk together as family beforehand and list options for each person that make the most sense for them. You can all choose the same option daily or have rotating activities. Do whatever works best.   4. Things feel incredibly monotonous right now. When kids with ADHD and their Now/Not now brains look into an unknown future where things have already been canceled for this school year and summer activities are following suit, it’s very discouraging. Life can seem hopeless and they feel powerless and discouraged. You may well feel like this too. Tip; Think one to two weeks at a time. We really don’t know what will happen next month so let’s try not to focus on the unforeseeable future. Instead, create some simple things to look forward to now. Make specific plans for special, fun things like take-out from a favorite restaurant, home-made sundaes on a Thursday night, breakfast for dinner. Talk with your kids about some of their ideas to mix it up and then include their suggestions.  Hang in there. We are all struggling--kids and adults alike--to embrace our resilience and integrate the strangeness of our lives every day. As one of my mentors used to say, when you get to the end of your rope, make a knot and hold on. I’m certainly gripping the knot on my rope too. .   

ADDitude Mag Free Webinar Replay: Fix My Family’s Morning Routine! Expert Solutions to Your Worst ADHD Schedule Problems

In this hour-long webinar-on-demand, learn how to fix your family’s morning routine problems with real, specific solutions, with Sharon Saline, Psy.D.

Your morning routine is broken — and exhausting. Your morning routine is broken — and exhausting. Your child stays up too late and sleeps half the morning away, or drags their feet over the slightest bit of work. Even without an early school bell, it’s nag nag nag to get your child to engage with remote learning. A high-protein breakfast of fresh eggs and fruit? Ha! You feel accomplished if no one is screaming. In this webinar, ADHD expert Sharon Saline, Psy.D., will solve the new, specific problems with your family’s morning routine. Use the comments section below or email customerservice@additudemag.com to ask questions about the following:

• How to get your child out of bed at a reasonable hour
• How to get your child to follow a morning checklist without nagging
• How achieve ADHD symptom control first thing in the day
• How to get learning underway without battles
• How to integrate exercise and/or mindfulness into your morning

Click logo below to watch!

22 News Mass Appeal: Advice for dealing with quaran-teens stuck at home and out of school

(Mass Appeal) – Teenagers are having an especially difficult time these days – school is out, many are missing important social events like proms and graduations, and most are in quarantine with their families. Clinical psychologist Dr. Sharon Saline joined us with advice on handling your quaran-teen. First, acknowledge that this is difficult for them. If they are argumentative, note that it is likely an expression of frustration and fear. Dr. Saline also noted it’s important to give them appropriate space and get their input on creating a daily schedule or collaborative plan. Giving them a sense of control over their daily routine is important. Click logo below to read more.

The SSAT: Navigating Parenting and Learning in a Remote Environment

As we navigate unusual circumstances with our children moving to remote learning during COVID-19, we know that families have questions around screen time as well as the social-emotional issues related to the physical isolation children are experiencing. We presented this webinar with information from SEL experts and welcomed questions at the end. Featured Topics

• Developing screen time rules and creating balance
• Staying current without becoming overwhelmed
• Modeling healthy habits and boundaries
• Mentoring children on technology and social media
• Dealing with social isolation, anxiety, and depression

Click logo below to watch.

Parenting In The Thick Of It Podcast: My Kid Is Spending All Day In His/Her Bedroom During COVID19

In the work I do with parents it is obvious to me that this is becoming a common pattern and struggle right now and one that many of parents are facing with their tweens and teen - their kids spending ALL.DAY.LONG locked up in their rooms. And it's not healthy nor conducive to a healthy state of mind. But what do we do about this? What can we do? Call in an expert! So that's what I did. Thank you Dr. Sharon Saline for coming to our rescue today to discuss this with me on the show. In this episode we covered so much. Tune in...

Click logo below to listen.

22 News Mass Appeal: Advice on finding joy in life during the pandemic

(Mass Appeal) – It’s harder than normal to find joy in life these days, with social distancing, a plummeting economy, and health concerns. Clinical Psychologist Dr. Sharon Saline joins us with creative ways to help you and your families stay positive. Click logo below to read more.

IECA Insights: Female Students With ADHD: How IECs Can Help

Nia was so excited to go to college. She’d been diagnosed with inattentive attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in eighth grade and received accommodations, such as extra time on tests, preferential classroom seating, and getting copies of teachers’ notes. An executive functioning coach helped her use a calendar and organize assignments. Nia worked hard, graduated with a 3.8 GPA, and moved into her college dorm with high expectations. Sadly, six months later, she was back home. Depressed, anxious, and on academic probation, she’d isolated herself, dropped one class, and failed two. Click logo below to read more.

5 Essential Emotional Survival Tips for Families Living with ADHD during Confinement

It’s hard to believe that we’re halfway through April and we are still living in confinement—all around the world. Although you may have established daily routines (and I hope you have because structure is comforting for kids with ADHD), emotions are probably running high. Each day, we face the same persistent stressors: home-schooling kids who are alternative learners, managing screen time, living with social distancing, trying to do your own work and getting chores among other things. While you manage the daily ins and outs well enough, you and your kids likely deal with the emotional fallout related to this situation regularly. Underneath any anger and anxiety lie sadness, disappointment, loss, frustration, and depression. Confusion about when this unpleasant period will end adds to the intensity of these feelings. What can you do to maintain calm, reduce conflict and offer support to your family?

Thinking all of the time about decisions and actions that used to be second nature is exhausting. How do we grocery shop? Who can I talk to and when? When can I get a minute to myself? Living in uncertainty adds to everyone’s fatigue and fosters helplessness. Sitting all day and spending a lot of time on screens may be necessary right now but it increases feeling sluggish and being cranky. We want to nurture an outlook for your son or daughter that encourages tolerating what’s tough without frequently acting out their frustration and hopelessness. Follow these steps to improve your family’s emotional stability and foster resilience:

1. Accept where you are and what you feel: It’s natural for people to have low morale and feel stuck right now. Acknowledge these uncomfortable feelings without trying to fix them. Counter negativity with gratitude. Find one thing your family members appreciate every day, no matter how small: The privilege of eating a yummy dinner, seeing the tulips bloom, riding a bike or playing a game. It’s easy to dismiss what we have in favor of longing for what we don’t. Shift your perspective and help your kids zoom out like a camera to see the bigger picture without dismissing their real feelings about what’s been lost.
2. Expect friction and strategize: When stuck in situations they don’t like and don’t see ending, people will rub each other the wrong way. Instead of expecting unrealistic harmony, plan for friction between siblings, your partner if you have one or other extended family members living at home. In a calm moment or planned family meeting, create two strategies for dealing with conflict: Option one and the back-up plan. Notice the signs when things are escalating and call a time apart for 10-15 minutes to cool down and regroup. Post a list of acceptable activities and tools to use to regain self-control. Build negotiation skills and practice forgiveness tools by relying on reflective listening (“I heard you say X, is there anything else?”) and focusing on moving forward through making amends and right action. What can your kids do for each other that shows they’re sorry rather than just saying it?
3. Control what you can: Limit your exposure to the news by checking it no more than once a day. Things don’t change that much and all of the statistics can be frightening and depressing. Consider past difficulties and write down how you overcame them. Do this with your kids too and post this in the kitchen.  They just may glance at it when they’re having a snack and you can remind them about their survival skills if they don’t. Do something zany that injects some levity into the family and breaks up the monotony of our days. Set up a weekly ice cream or movie night; dance while cleaning up after dinner, dress up in costume for dinner one night. Do anything that brings some joy and laughter to your clan. This is what you can control so go for it.
4. Give people the benefit of the doubt: No child or teen with ADHD wakes up in the morning and thinks “What can I do today that will really irritate my mom or dad?” They are trying their best with the limited resources of their developing brains and executive functioning challenges to get by. Take planned time-aparts: create specific short periods of low stimulation and calm for people to disengage from each other, rest and refuel. Focus on what really matters and shift your standards a bit. Neither kids’ homework nor home cleanliness has to be perfect and previous goals extracurricular activities can be lowered some. It’s okay to make adjustments and then ramp things up when we return to “normal.” We are living in an extended crisis that’s a marathon. Practice compassion for yourself and your kids.
5. Connect with your posse and help your son or daughter do the same: Reach out to a circle of friends and family at specific times rather than checking Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, texts and emails throughout the day. Instead, set a few specific times to do so and then you can really enjoy your connections. We want to reduce media multi-tasking as much as possible which stresses our brain and leads to further exhaustion. Help your kids go for quality in their peer interactions by encouraging contact with one or two people at a time so there’s a better depth to the connection. Seeing caring faces smile back at you reminds you that we are all in this together: you matter to them and they matter to you.

ADDitude Magazine: How Do I Know If My Teen Is Really Ready for College?

Your teen with ADHD has his heart set on a four-year college far from home. How do you know if he’s really ready and able to live independently while also managing a challenging college course load? The answer is rarely clear cut, but here is a plan for defining markers, gauging progress, and making a decision. Click logo below to read more.

Parenting in the Thick of It Podcast: Is Your Child's Anxiety Escalating During Covid-19?

It can be so hard to be the sounding board for everyone’s worries during this time – it’s stressful for us. At times we can barely contain our own anxiety never mind help our children with theirs. Today on the show, I have Dr Sharon Saline, to discuss how we can handle anxiety during this stressful and challenging time. Tune in. Click logo below to read more.

22 News Mass Appeal: Helping families cope with the emotional toll of Covid-19

(Mass Appeal) – Dealing with the isolation to help stop the spread of Coronavirus can be taxing on adults, but it’s also taking a mental toll on children. Clinical Psychologist Dr. Sharon Saline joins us with her advice on helping kids cope with their anxiety and emotions. Click logo below to watch the video.

The Philadelphia Inquirer: Homeschooling a child with ADHD? Here’s some expert advice

As you collapse into bed after another exhausting day of managing your child with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) 24/7, you’re probably wondering how your family is going to survive an extended stay-at-home order. While it’s challenging enough for you to stay calm in the midst of all of the changes and unknowns of COVID-19, it’s extra tough supervising kids who struggle with academics, miss their friends and argue with their siblings. Living with a child or teen with ADHD and/or a learning disability (LD) is complicated enough without those added challenges. What can you do to ease the stress and create a home structure that works for everybody? Click logo below to read more.

22 News Mass Appeal: Why do we feel the need to hoard supplies during Covid-19?

(Mass Appeal) – We’ve seen it in the grocery stores; sudden shortages of toilet paper and other supplies. Why do we feel the need to hoard during times of uncertainty? Clinical Psychologist Dr. Sharon Saline joins us with an explanation. Click logo below to watch the video.

Share My Lesson: Daily Schedule for ADHD Families: Remote Learning in the Time of Coronavirus

ADHD Distance Learning: Setting Up for Success The coronavirus outbreak is changing our lives by the moment, but one constant is true: You’re unsure how to manage several weeks of closed schools and social isolation with your children, who happen to have ADHD. The big questions are: What can you do to set up a family plan that fosters more cooperation and less arguing during this unsettled time of COVID-19? How can you devise a plan that you can actually follow and your kids will buy into? We know that kids with ADHD benefit from structure, but what can you realistically pull off? Here is some helpful advice to get you started. Click logo below to read more.

22 News Mass Appeal: Use this time at home to be creative, have fun and develop a new hobby

(Mass Appeal) – Most of us have a list of things we’ve always wished we’ve learned, or skills we’ve wanted to develop. Clinical Psychologist Dr. Sharon Saline joined us to talk about how starting a new hobby can be good for your mental health. Dr. Saline suggests that brainstorming activities with your family is a great way to start. To help get your kids involved in these activities, it makes sense to set a designated time for them. Also, turn mundane activities into something fun – turn up the music while you are putting away dishes and time your kids while they pick up their toys. Click logo below to watch the video.

22 News Mass Appeal: Creating order with kids at home by making a schedule

(Mass Appeal) – Children do well with structure and it’s reassuring to work with them on creating a schedule. Clinical Psychologist Dr. Sharon Saline joined us with advice on how to help your kids get happy and organized! Dr. Saline said come from a place of compassion when dealing with your children – if they are acting out, it could be coming from a place of confusion and anxiety. Work with them on creating a schedule that meets their needs and includes time to spent outdoors and being creative. Also make a point to exercise with you kids – it gets some much needed endorphins flowing! Click logo below to watch the video.

Psychology Today: Home from College and the Novelty's Worn Off: Now What?

This is nothing you ever expected—being stuck at home 24/7 with your parents and siblings while being separated from your friends, your school and your job. Academic, social and financial changes increase your stress with no clear solutions in sight. It's natural to feel disappointed, confused, angry or worried. Plus, living around your family makes it tough not to fall back into old family patterns. All you want is to hold onto your independent identity but your life's been turned upside down. Now what? Click logo below to read more.

Attention Talk Video : ADHD and Anxiety: A Basic Intervention

Many with ADHD have a lot of anxiety, but how do they manage it effectively? In this video ADHD coach Jeff Copper (www.digcoaching.com) interviews Dr. Sharon Saline on a basic intervention to manage worry and anxiety. While Dr. Saline shares the strategy, Jeff explains the role working memory plays and why the intervention works. If you are overwhelmed and have anxiety, watch and learn. Click logo below to watch the video!

Coronavirus Anxiety

Q: What is situational anxiety? A: Situational anxiety occurs when someone is worried about certain environments or events and what will happen in these contexts. When people suffer from situational anxiety, they feel frightened by and unclear about how to manage the circumstances that concern them. Sometimes they may exaggerate perceived negative outcomes as well. Q: What are some of the most common fears, anxious thoughts individuals are having in response
to coronavirus? A: In terms of coronavirus, common fears revolve around infection, lack of treatment and untimely death. People are anxious about how to protect themselves and their loved ones from contamination and not knowing what to do to ensure their safety increases their worries. Inadequate or incorrect information from the government worsens their fears. Q: What are the best ways to manage your
anxiety, particularly in relation to COVID-19?   A: It’s not easy to manage your anxiety about COVID-19 but you can start by learning about the facts of the virus and practical tools for managing infection in your home and community. Follow the CDC recommendations about hand washing, avoiding touching your face and other factors related to spreading germs. Repeat key points of this information to yourself when your anxiety rears its ugly head. You want to reassure yourself about the things you can actually do to promote and protect your well-being instead of the risks you can’t control that feed your fears. Read more about how to manage anxiety