Dear Dr. Sharon: How can I stress less this Summer?

Summer promises rest and relaxation—but for adults with ADHD or anxiety, it can feel disorienting or overwhelming. This week, Dr. Sharon offers practical ways to gently hit "reset" and reclaim the season with clarity, joy, and intention.

Dear Dr. Sharon -

I’m hoping you can help me. I’m in my early 50s and live with both ADHD and generalized anxiety disorder. I have a super fulfilling career as an oncology nurse and but I probably dedicate more time to it than I should. Honestly, summer always throws me off. While people around me seem excited about slowing down and taking vacations, I usually feel untethered and overwhelmed with a lack of structure. The change in routine, the pressure to “make the most of it,” and the expectations to feel relaxed just add to my stress.

I want this summer to feel different. I’m craving a reset—but I don’t know what that even looks like or how to start. How is it possible to use summer as a real opportunity for change?

Sincerely,

Judy (Pennsylvania)

Hi Judy, 

Thank you for your honest and insightful question—and for giving voice to something that many adults with ADHD and anxiety feel but struggle to express. You are not alone in finding summer disorienting rather than relaxing. When your brain is wired for alertness, structure, or high productivity, a season that promotes "ease" and "fun" can actually trigger discomfort, decision fatigue, or a kind of identity whiplash. So, first things first: let’s throw out the idea that summer has to look a certain way.

Here in the Northeast, the signs of summer are all around—beautiful peony blossoms are in full bloom, dinners are enjoyed outside with friends and family and trips to our favorite lakes and rivers have become more frequent. I know that my work pace slows a bit in the summer, that I’ll get to spend more time with my kids and grandchildren, and that I can take more time to ride my bike and just savor it all. 

Honestly, I also feel pressure to “make the most of the summer” which is one reason why I try to stay off social media as much as possible. As somebody who enjoys a certain level of staying busy, coming to a complete stop in order to “relax” feels strange and uncomfortable. Instead, I prefer to think of my “summer reset” as an opportunity to pause and take stock. What things bring me genuine joy? How can I do more of them?  How can I give myself the grace to do less of what makes me unhappy? Like you, I often find myself exhausted from the relentless pace I’ve set in the fall, winter, and spring.

When we live with ADHD and anxiety, it’s all too easy to get stuck in cycles of perfectionism, pleasing others and avoiding risks to minimize uncertainty. It’s uncomfortable to feel awkward, unsure or stressed. All too often, we continue to engage in habits and behaviors that once may have served us but no longer do. Plus, it becomes harder to make changes and pivot in our responses to things as we age. We know we need to pivot and develop more effective executive functioning skills but we struggle with how.  

The gift of summer—if we let ourselves receive it—is the chance to gently interrupt those patterns and make other choices. This journey begins with intentional reflection, compassionate self-acceptances and small steps.

Why a Reset Matters (Especially for folks with ADHD + Anxiety)

A reset doesn’t have to be a dramatic reinvention. In fact, the ADHD brain thrives not on massive overhauls, but on doable shifts that spark interest, restore energy, and calm the nervous system. Research tells us that consistent self-care routines—especially around sleep, nutrition, and mindfulness—can reduce ADHD symptoms and anxiety in adults significantly (Fitzgerald, 2020). But it’s how we approach these resets that really makes the difference.

When you allow yourself to slow down with intention, rather than out of burnout, you regain a sense of agency. Instead of reacting to summer’s lack of structure with dread, you can respond with curiosity: “What’s working for me right now? What’s draining me? What do I want more of?” You can also respond to inertia with chunking. Perhaps you want to exercise daily. Instead of starting with a twenty minute run, try a ten minute walk once or twice a day. 

Whatever reset you choose creates a transition between who you’ve been and who you’re becoming.

5 Ways to Embrace a Summer Reset

Here are some tangible strategies to help you reset with more ease and less pressure:

1. Schedule “Unscheduled” Time

People with ADHD often swing between hyper-scheduling and complete avoidance of structure. Try creating small daily or weekly anchors—like “tech-free Tuesday evenings” or “walks before breakfast”—that offer light structure without rigidity. You don’t need to embrace empty days.  You just need to insert some space to breathe. This is often uncomfortable for people with ADHD who loathe boredom so be patient with yourself as you practice this.

2. Reconnect with Joy in Small Doses

A reset doesn’t require a week-long retreat or a major trip. What small things spark joy? Watering your garden, reading by a window, walking your dog or sipping coffees with a friend? Neurodivergent brains often need regular “joy hits” to stay engaged and centered. Rather than waiting for these to occur, set up some fun things in advance. Make room for these—guilt-free.

3. Create a Summer Reset Ritual

Mark this seasonal shift with a ritual that’s personal to you. It could be journaling with a cup of iced tea, organizing your workspace, or writing down 3 intentions on colorful sticky notes. The goal is to symbolize the permission you’re giving yourself to begin again and slow down a bit.

4. Communicate Your Needs Without Apology

Family and friends may expect you to be more social, spontaneous, or accommodating during summer. You may decide to join them if it feels restorative or you may not. It’s okay to say, “I’m trying to schedule fewer social events,” or “I’m focusing on getting some rest this season,” or “I’m experimenting with a slower pace.” You don’t need to justify your boundaries. You just need to honor them and watch your tone of voice. Stay kind and clear without interrupting or invalidating somebody’s response. Their expectations and subsequent disappointment is not your responsibility.

5. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection

Summer isn’t about getting everything right. It’s about staying connected to what feels right. This difference will help lower your anxiety. Celebrate the mornings you remembered to take your meds, the afternoons you turned off your phone, or the days you caught yourself before falling into old loops. That’s the reset.

Final Thoughts

Here’s what I want you to remember, Judy:

You don’t have to feel relaxed on cue just because it’s June. You don’t need to seize every day or reinvent your whole life. You are allowed to reset gently, intentionally, and on your own terms. And yes, you absolutely deserve a summer that gives back as much as you give out.

Warmly,

Dr. Sharon