Dear Dr. Sharon: “My teen used TikTok for a diagnosis - what do I do?”

“My teen says she has aDHD—but she hasn’t seen a professional.” Sound familiar? Here’s how to support teens who self-diagnose through TikTok or Instagram with compassion and clarity.

Dear Dr. Sharon,

My 15-year-old daughter is convinced she has ADHD. Until recently, she hadn’t mentioned any concerns to me or my husband and, from what we can tell, she seems fine. I suspect this may be influenced by a friend who was recently diagnosed and by posts she’s seen on TikTok or Instagram that she relates to. I want to take her seriously but we’re having trouble separating fact from fiction as she approaches ninth grade. Can you help us figure out what’s really going on—and how to respond?

—Shannon, Philadelphia

Dear Shannon,

Parenting adolescents today can feel like navigating unchartered waters. There are so many influences on their identities, their social choices and everyday behaviors that are beyond your control. Whether it’s television, social media or YouTube videos, it’s tough to keep track of what your daughter learns and where the information comes from. Let’s take a look at the fundamentals of adolescence before addressing the question about ADHD.

Parents spend their child’s formative years creating a solid foundation:  establishing family traditions and routines, creating opportunities to grow and helping her develop her interests into extracurricular activities or hobbies. But with adolescence come the natural push and pull away from the family unit into the peer arena. Your child who once felt so familiar may feel very far away and you’re left unmoored.

It’s also safe to say that these developments are likely confusing to your daughter as well. experiencing her own version of these same challenges. Forging your identity and figuring out where you belong are the fundamental tasks of adolescence and these are no small tasks. Things are changing all at once: who she “is”, her body, her relationships with family and friends, her hobbies and interests. The surge of hormones in combination with the brain’s pruning processes has transformed what once seemed stable and clear to being more fluid and muddy. 

Today’s teens, especially girls, cope by seeking community, validation, and a sense of control. Social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram often provide those things. When they come across videos or posts that describe symptoms of anxiety, ADHD, autism, or depression, it can feel like a moment of instant clarity and belonging: “That sounds like me.” Labeling what they’re experiencing can help teens feel like they belong and are understood, especially when everything else feels uncertain. Unfortunately, much of that information is often incorrect. 

In addition, having a diagnosis is now cool: many kids no longer hide being in therapy or having a mental health condition or learning issues . Attributing all the unknowns to a label or "diagnosis" they find online makes their world feel smaller and more manageable. In this way, TikTok and other social media platforms can even act as protective factors and help signal when they should seek additional support offline.

Social Media, Teens, and the Rise of Mental Health Self-Diagnosis

I want to be clear: social media is not a diagnostic tool. Neither are online quizzes or influencers who list “signs you have anxiety” in 30-second clips or “POVs”. That being said, the internet can serve as an important starting point for increased self-awareness and gathering valuable information. It’s not uncommon for teens to first recognize patterns in themselves because of something they read or saw online about others.

In fact, some of these videos do a good job of explaining symptoms and offering empathy—and they may reduce the stigma around getting help. However, there are real risks to this trend of teens self-diagnosing ADHD or anxiety:

• Groupthink or identity confusion
  Teens may adopt a label simply because it’s relatable—even if it doesn’t apply.

• Overpathologizing normal development
  Mood swings, stress, and strong emotions are normal in adolescence but often mistaken for clinical disorders.

• Misinformation
  Not all content is accurate, and teens may misunderstand what ADHD, anxiety, or autism really look like.

Without clinical follow-up, this DIY approach can lead to misdiagnosis, anxiety, or unnecessary limitations on how a teen sees herself.

This trend of self-diagnosing ADHD, autism, or anxiety through TikTok is frightening and without a professional, clinical follow-up, it can even be dangerous.  As parents, your work  lies in connecting your daughter’s online evaluation of her symptoms with her day-to-day behaviors-“IRL”- without dismissing her experience.

Supporting Without Dismissing

You’ve already taken a powerful first step, Shannon: you’re listening. Even if your daughter is using “ADHD” casually, she’s trying to communicate something real.

Teens often borrow language from social media because they lack the vocabulary to describe what they’re feeling. Here’s how you can respond thoughtfully:

1. Stay curious, not corrective

Ask:

• “When did you start thinking you might have ADHD?”

• “Can you tell me more about what you’ve noticed?”

This opens a conversation instead of a confrontation.

2. Normalize big feelings without rushing to label.

You might say:

“It’s totally okay to feel distracted or overwhelmed sometimes. That doesn’t always mean there’s a disorder, but if it’s making things harder, we can explore it together.”

3. Collaborate on next steps…. “IRL”

Let her know that if she’s genuinely concerned, her primary care provider and/or a licensed mental health professional is the right person to talk to. Keep her in the loop and let her take some ownership. Do your research to find someone with experience evaluating teens and treating ADHD, anxiety, depression, learning differences or autism. A good clinician will take time to understand her history, listen carefully, and offer feedback rooted in evidence—not just symptoms plucked from the internet.

When to Seek Professional Help

Even if your daughter seems “fine,” it’s still helpful to take stock of her behavior. A clinical evaluation may be beneficial if you observe:

• Frequent distraction or overwhelm

• Impulsive decisions followed by regret

• Drop in academic performance

• Increased irritability or social withdrawal

• Difficulty with follow-through or organization

• Persistent sadness, worry, or low self-esteem

Sometimes, what starts as an identity exploration online uncovers real symptoms that deserve support. Other times, it’s simply a teen trying on labels like she might try on a new outfit.  But in either case, its important to approach the situation with real regard for what she is experiencing.

Final Thoughts

Shannon, your love and concern are clear—and that’s what your daughter needs most. Remember that teens are in the process of figuring out who they are, and that it’s okay if they try on ideas that don’t fit. Your job isn’t to force a diagnosis or dismiss one. It’s to walk with her as she learns to understand herself more deeply and to guide her toward reliable, trusted sources of help when needed.

Warmly,

Dr. Sharon